At MSB we are always seeking to grow and challenge ourselves. In our most recent book club meetings, Kathryn Hemming offered Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener’s title, Positive Provocation as our bookclub read. Here’s what we gleaned.
As coaches, we often find ourselves in the delicate space between support and stretch — listening deeply while gently nudging our clients toward new insights. But what happens when we choose to lean further into that stretch? That was the question at the heart of our recent coaching book club, where we read and reflected on Robert Biswas-Diener’s Positive Provocation: 25 Questions to Elevate Your Coaching Practice.
This wasn’t a book to simply read and admire. It was a book that asked something of us. Each chapter, structured around a provocation, challenged our assumptions, invited us to reflect on the edges of our coaching identity, and encouraged us to engage in meaningful, and sometimes uncomfortable dialogue.
Why This Book?
We chose Positive Provocation because we were hungry for a shake-up: not in a performative way, but in a curious, grounded, and values-aligned way. Biswas-Diener doesn’t aim to dismantle coaching traditions for the sake of it. Instead, he offers questions that encourage conscious disruption. He respects the field and believes in its potential – and he invites us, as practitioners, to be bold enough to evolve it. From the outset, we knew this wouldn’t be a “feel-good” book club. It was a brave space, and that made all the difference.
How We Read: Coaching the Coach
Rather than rush through the 25 provocations, we slowed down. We met three times, discussing 3–4 provocations at a time. Each member of the group took turns facilitating; choosing one question that particularly resonated (or irritated!) and guiding the group through a reflective discussion.
We used coaching tools on ourselves and each other.
- We invited journalling between sessions.
- We practiced deep listening and clean questioning.
- We stayed curious when we felt resistance — and named it without judgement.
The book itself became a co-coach, nudging us with questions like:
- What if you don’t have to be neutral to be ethical?
- What if comfort is the enemy of growth?
- What if being provocative is actually an act of care?
Highlights & Tensions
One session, a particularly provocative question sparked a heated yet respectful debate: “Are you too nice to be transformative?” We found ourselves reflecting on whether we sometimes collude with comfort in the name of rapport. We talked about fear – of offending, of being misunderstood, of “not being liked.” But we also acknowledged moments when a well-timed, courageous challenge had cracked something open for a client.
Another chapter invited us to explore the role of emotions in coaching – not just our clients’, but our own. We shared times we’d hidden behind professionalism instead of modelling authentic emotional presence. It was a reminder that our being is just as important as our doing.
What Changed for Us
The impact of Positive Provocation wasn’t theoretical. It showed up in our sessions.
- One coach described how they asked a client, “What are you avoiding by being so rational?” — and how that unlocked a powerful new direction.
- Another decided to share more openly with a client about their own discomfort — and the vulnerability deepened the relationship.
- Several of us started experimenting with bolder questions, shorter silences, and naming what we really saw.
In short, we started trusting ourselves more. Trusting our intuition, our presence, our courage. We gave ourselves permission to provoke with kindness- not to shock or dominate, but to serve.
Final Reflections
If you’re a coach looking to shake off stale habits, deepen your presence, and recalibrate your relationship to risk and care, then Positive Provocation is a must-read. But don’t read it alone. Read it in community. Let it stir up brave conversations. Let it challenge you. And let it remind you that great coaching doesn’t always feel comfortable – for coach or client – but it always, always makes space for growth.
Ask Yourself:
- Where am I colluding with comfort?
- What’s one provocative question I’m afraid to ask a client?
- How can I be more fiercely loving in my practice?
Because maybe the next step in your coaching mastery isn’t about knowing more. It’s about daring more.
https://robertdiener.com/positive-provocation-book/
